This article is over 5 years old and may contain outdated information.

Travel

Gear Review: Handpresso Pump

The hand-operated espresso machine seems like a good idea — until you use it

  • Published Jan 25, 2018
  • Updated Oct 07, 2022
  • 517 words
  • 3 minutes
A cup of espresso on a table beside espresso grounds Expand Image
Advertisement

I would like to be seated atop a mountain, anticipating the taste of the rich espresso that is pouring forth from my portable Handpresso Pump, as the man on the Handpresso website appears to be doing, but I can’t.

Not because I don’t have a Handpresso Pump, which Handpresso says “enables you to drink an Italian espresso wherever you are,” be it on a mountain or trussed into a tiny sailboat, but because I am in hell. And in hell, you don’t get to drink espresso.

How did I get to hell, you wonder? I was dragged here, kicking and screaming, by the Handpresso Pump, an aggravating gadget that produces an espresso that would caffeinate a Lilliputian but doesn’t come near giving a regular-sized person the java they’re jonesing for.  

I first tried the Handpresso Pump at Canadian Geographic’s office, which perhaps wasn’t the ideal testing ground, given Handpresso’s emphasis on using the pump outdoors, but what the heck. I wanted to drink an Italian espresso wherever I was, and I was at work, where the coffee is abysmal. So how could this be a bad thing?

Expand Image

Without going into step-by-step detail, let me just say this: there are 15 separate actions — twisting, pumping, unscrewing, inserting (don’t ask), rotating and pushing among them — involved in making an espresso with the Handpresso Pump. Fifteen! Does that seem like too many to you? It did to me. By the time I got to step 16 — “Finally, relax and enjoy your espresso” — I was apoplectic with a rage that could not be quenched by the piddling amount of coffee in my cup. And yes, it has occurred to me that cutting down on my coffee consumption could make me less volatile.

But still. Would using the Handpresso Pump have been any easier to do on a mountain, an alpine wind scattering my precious Lavazza grounds across the scree? Or on that sailboat, maybe, pumping the contraption to 16 bars of pressure while trying to gauge wind direction, work the tiller and keep an eye on the goddamn kettle? No.

And that’s the problem with the Handpresso Pump. It’s marketed as a brilliant take-it-anywhere convenience but it’s actually a disappointing $150 hassle.

Hey, can I get a cup of instant down here?

Advertisement

Are you passionate about Canadian geography?

You can support Canadian Geographic in 3 ways:

Related Content

Environment

What lies beneath: Ghost gear in our oceans

Ghost gear — lost or abandoned fishing gear — is a major problem in our oceans, but renewed efforts are underway to clean it up

  • 1487 words
  • 6 minutes

People & Culture

Coffee News, the tan community paper that became a Canadian curiosity

Exploring the passion of creator Jean Daum with a look behind the scenes

  • 1512 words
  • 7 minutes

Travel

10 ways to celebrate spooky season in Ontario

From where to get the best pumpkin donuts, to the most horrific haunted houses, these events will set you up for a spooktacular Halloween

  • 1192 words
  • 5 minutes

Travel

A writer’s guide to travelling

Travel writer Meghan J. Ward gives her best tools to help you gain context and a deeper understanding of the places you visit

  • 1402 words
  • 6 minutes